Battling Satan’s Lies

Photo by Jimmy Chan on Pexels.com

This morning, as I sat there, enjoying some relaxing tea, and the dawn breaks around me, I couldn’t help but praise God for all He’s been doing in my life lately. This year has already proven to be a year of colossal change, and it’s only July. When I chose “all things” to be the phrase that would define 2021 and guide my goals throughout this year, I could feel that the Lord was preparing to move in my life in big ways. However, even with that inkling, I never imagined just how big. My wildest thoughts and dreams were tiny compared to where I feel the Holy Spirit is leading me now.

Back in 2020, I was prepared to do everything possible to heal from past trauma and to grow, so I could finally blossom into the person my Heavenly Father always meant me to be. I was well aware that I had boxed myself in in an attempt to protect myself from any more harm. In a way, this method had kept me safe. But I suddenly realized that I was so cornered and cramped that I wasn’t truly living. Yes, I was surviving and existing. Yet, my well-built fortress had shrunk to such an alarming degree that it had become my prison. My jail cell was so teeny tiny that I found myself having panic attacks because I actually felt closed in and trapped.

As I continued to grow, my miniscule box shrank even more at an alarming rate to the point I was literally suffering from claustrophobic attacks. I increasingly felt like there wasn’t even room for me to breathe! I eventually felt like I either had to break out of this prison of my own making or I would surely perish under that mounting pressure of my imprisonment.

One night, last summer, it finally came to a head. It was the middle of the night. I had awoken from my sleep with a terrible start. I was literally gasping for air. The weight of my growth and the squeezing confinement of my prison of “safety” were too much to bear any longer.

I found myself rushing outside, trying to find somewhere with more space. Then, perhaps, I could finally catch my breath and calm down. But even under the vast expanse of the night sky, I still felt constricted to the point I’d surely die!

There I was desperately looking up, praying my heart out to God. It felt like my very soul was raw and bleeding. I was begging the Lord to please break me free before it all crushed me. I’m not sure how long I actually walked and prayed. In many ways, it felt like a thousand nights had passed. In the middle of it all, though, I remember sinking to my knees in desperation and exhaustion, barely having enough strength to whisper one last time for Him to set me free.

That’s when I heard the Holy Spirit louder than I’ve ever heard. I can’t remember the exact words, but it went something like this:

“My child, you are already free. Christ set you free as soon as you chose to accept His gift of salvation so many years ago. Your chains are long gone. The door has been open this whole time. In fact, Jesus blew that door right off of the hinges. It doesn’t even exist anymore.

Satan has lied to you and tricked you into staying in a prison that can no longer contain you on its own. He knows he can’t steal you from Me, so he’s doing everything possible to steal a blessed and prosperous future from you — the future I so carefully and lovingly planned for you.

Arise! Walk out of that open door and never look back. Come to me and seek me in all things. I will lead you towards the things you desire the most and then so much more. Trust completely in Me, and all will be well.”

This was undoubtedly a huge turning point in my life. Not only could I finally breathe again, but I was free at last! In many ways, it felt like an actual metamorphosis. I walked through that open door and eagerly pursued the Lord with all that I am. I wanted to avoid ever going back to that awful prison I had unwittingly locked myself into, so I was determined to put as much distance between me and Satan’s old lies as possible.

The problem though is the devil is the father of lies. Just because the Holy Spirit helps us smash through one or even a bunch of Satan’s lies, it doesn’t mean our battle with him is over. The devil is sneaky and crafty and loves to bounce when we least expect it with another tricky snare of lies.

Satan knew that I was running hard toward my Heavenly Father, bent on following God’s path in my life at all costs. He knew that the old lies weren’t going to stop me anymore either. So, he threw a new curveball that sent me crashing down onto my face. He couldn’t convince me any longer that I wasn’t fully worthy of God’s love and that the Lord, therefore, didn’t want to use me for His glory. So, the devil is now trying to convince me that my Heavenly Father is expecting way too much from me. He’s planting seeds of doubt that God’s plans are so huge that little ol’ me, with my dark past and my many scars, will surely fail. He’s been trying to pound it into my head that I am too imperfect, too weak, and too shameful to rise to where the Holy Spirit is leading me, let alone for me to stay there and not fail miserably for all to see.

Sadly, Satan’s curveball did work for a couple days this week. I found myself cowering in the proverbial corner again, licking my wounds and having a pity party for one. Who am I to think God could use me to help others? Who am I to actually grow excited about becoming a part of or even starting a ministry to reach those, who like me of the past, feel too far gone or too dirty or too unworthy of Christ’s love? What a fool and a giant failure I am, and I should be ashamed of myself!

In the midst of my self loathing, though, God reminded me yesterday that He doesn’t call the equipped. Rather, He equips the called. I don’t have to be a brave, mighty, capable warrior to win the battles ahead of me. I don’t need to be a wise, perfect, disciplined follower of Christ to reach those who are hurting or lost. I don’t even have to have all the answers or understand how it will all work. I just have to trust and obey. The rest is in the Lord’s hands.

If the Holy Spirit is leading me to something, He will surely give me everything I need to succeed. Satan and maybe even some of the people around me may call me by my trauma, my failures, my shortcomings, and even my shameful sins, but my Heavenly Father calls me by name and by His grace and mercy. The Lord sees me for who I am in Him, and He knows my heart longs to please Him and to help others. That is all that truly matters.

© 2021 Amanda R. Dollak

It’s My Facebook & I’ll Share If I Want To!

Photo by Cristian Dina on Pexels.com

 

It always cracks me up that rude, selfish people tend to be the ones who call out others on bad behavior. The guy who cuts in front of you in line is the first to get his underwear in a bunch when you don’t see him and inadvertently don’t hold the door for him on your way out. The woman who talks loudly on her cell phone or screams at her kids in the movie theater never fails to complain about your whispered comments to your date. Truthfully, the examples go on and on in this crazy, upside down world, and social media is no exception.

Recently, I had a Facebook acquaintance complain to me about all my articles that I share on my Facebook timeline. She told me that my links were cluttering up her newsfeed and keeping her from seeing the “important’ posts. She flat out told me that I was being rude and inconsiderate for “hogging valuable space on Facebook”!

Yes, you heard that right. I was actually being chastised for sharing a few links a day of my favorite pieces of my online work — on my own Facebook page. To add to the irony of it all, these complaints came from an individual who plays a myriad of Facebook games every day — all day long — and never hesitates to share all of her gaming statuses and requests. If anyone is hogging up the newsfeed, it is her; not me.

Now before you get your underwear in a bunch, too, know that I have no objection to playing and sharing Facebook apps. In fact, I enjoy playing several myself. By all means, share away! I love to see my friends doing what makes them happy. But it irks me that someone could think that my link sharing is so despicable, while her gaming activity is perfectly fine. No offense, but my writing and my desire to help people have more value than any request for lives or game pieces or energy.

Ultimately, if I can tolerate and ignore the gaming posts on my newsfeed, why can’t people not interested in my writing just scroll on by? It’s a no-brainer, right? Apparently not! It appears some people just can’t let anything that annoys them slide, no matter how minor. All I can say is thank the Lord above for the ‘Unfriend’ button.

My attempts to appease this woman only made matters worse. I even tried to help her to see things from my perspective, but it still escalated. She was furious and not backing down. Finally, I moved on. I wished her well and then blocked her. There’s enough stress, drama, and stupidity in life without putting up with it on Facebook, too! Social media should be drawing us together and helping us to lift each other up. It should never divide or tear down, especially those we consider as friends.

 

© 2020 Amanda R. Dollak

Justice: Defending the Weak or Wronged

Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com

As a writer, I am often asked about my educational background by potential clients, curious readers, and friends interested in possibly becoming writers themselves. Usually, people assume that since I have a college degree, it must be in a field like English or journalism. They are generally surprised or even shocked to learn that my major in college was criminal justice. Although I took some writing and literature courses along the way, writing was far from my educational focus.

Criminal justice and writing might first appear to be two vastly different worlds. The first science, and the second art. The one more cold and analytical, while the other more warm and people oriented. Despite initial appearances, though, they are two sides of one coin–at least for me.

There is one quality that drives both parts: my concept of justice. Righting wrongs. Protecting the innocent. Defending the weak. Ensuring that injustice doesn’t go unanswered. These concepts are obvious in a criminal justice career. However, not so much in the writing field.

Nevertheless, some of my best writing has been in response to a wrong I encounter or to society treating an individual cruelly. I can’t simply sit by quietly when a situation like this arises. I’m a people person. I care deeply for others. I can’t help but share in the pain and hurt of those around me. My heart even aches over the suffering of those I don’t even know. God blessed me with an overwhelming desire to help and protect my fellow mankind.

Sometimes this overwhelming desire to help translates into pouring my heart out into a letter or blog post. The words flow with lightning speed. I often struggle to keep up with all that is trying to spill out of me. I yearn to do whatever I can to let the victim (and others like him or her) to find comfort in realizing they aren’t alone in their adversity. Indeed, I personally know how disheartening it is to feel invisible. I know how difficult it is to suffer in silence while others turn a blind eye. I know how excruciating it is to not have someone else who understands my pain.

Also, I’m highly driven to write about these injustices because those who were spared such difficulties might grow to understand through my words. I like to believe that most people aren’t rude or insensitive on purpose. Rather, they lack sympathy because they lack understanding. If I can put my empathy and passion into the right words, maybe I can touch their hearts and they might finally understand (at least a little) the suffering of others. I know, I can’t reach them all, but if I can persuade even a few with my writing, all my effort would be worth it.

What are some things you have done to make your corner of this world a little brighter? Have you ever found writing to be an invaluable tool for changing the hearts of others?

 

© 2020 Amanda R. Dollak