Insomnia Can Be a Superweapon

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I adore my creature comforts. Take away my food, comfy clothes, or my sleep, and I unfortunately get cranky fast. I may not be high maintenance; however, if I don’t get the basics, especially at least 5 hours of sleep at night, I struggle to not devolve into a whiny, teary-eyed blob, sprawled on the floor, having a pity party of one. Keep me adequately fed, watered, and comfy, though, and it’s mostly smooth sailing, even when life gets hectic.

I love sleep. Sleep loves me. Sleep and I are best buds. Don’t ever keep us apart for too long. Or else my world starts caving in. Give me sleep or give me death, people! (Yeah, I can get a bit on the melodramatic side when I’m sleep deprived.) That’s probably why I hate insomnia so much. It’s an evil thing that gets in the way of my dreamland bliss.

And tonight, the insomnia monster is at full force. It’s after 4:00 AM, and here I am writing a blog post about sleeping instead of–you guessed it–sleeping! As a writer, though, I’ve come to realize that even insomnia can be a mighty secret weapon, if wielded properly. There’s something about sitting alone at night, the house (and world) silent around you. Alone with your thoughts, musings, and crazy imagination. Just the clicky-clack of your fingers flying across the keyboard. It never fails to get the ol’ creative juices flowing. And sometimes inspiration hits like a giant dam suddenly burst upstream.

Tonight is one of those dam moments. Although I would much rather be sleeping right now, (dawn comes quickly these days), I must admit that I’m having the time of my life tonight. Well, perhaps, not my life, but certainly in recent days, weeks, and possibly even months. I feel like a new person. I’m on fire. I’m overflowing with ideas, and I can’t get enough! I’m almost tempted to never sleep again–well, at least until I get all of these concepts written down.

After I couldn’t fall asleep, I started writing a new story based off of a crazy dream I woke up to yesterday. The dream was so vivid that I actually remember a huge chunk of it. It makes a pretty good story, too. It has plenty of plot twists and the climax is so unexpected that I doubt many people will see it coming.

I’ve had an extremely productive night. I picked a title. I started character dossiers. I even wrote a story synopsis that is almost 4,000 words long. It’s coming along beautifully! I’ve never had a novel idea flow this freely and easily. I have all the main plot points laid out. I merely need to flesh out the storyline more and add depth to my characters. Then, I can dig into writing this book from cover to cover. It feels like this thing is almost writing itself!

I know I should be heading off to bed soon to try–yet again–to drift off to sleep. Nonetheless, part of me is energized and rejuvenated by this flood of inspiration. If writer’s block is a drought, I’m experiencing the monsoon of the century, folks! I honestly don’t want to stop! It’s as though I’ve inadvertently hit pay dirt. I accidentally found an oil well, and it’s madly gushing all over the place. How can I not be excited or eager to enjoy the moment while it lasts? Who knows when this inspiration will dry up?

WIsh me luck. I’m going to need it! I must find a happy balance between sleep and writing when my brain is still exploding like a monstrous volcano. You know, I should treat this surge of creativity more like a fire, rather than a force of nature. Under the right conditions, a fire can be harnessed and contained. With both the appropriate amount of air and fuel, flames can burn for a long time without causing harm. A writer requires a healthy balance of writing time and rest. If I tread carefully, I won’t burn out and neither will my inspiration.

© 2020 Amanda R. Dollak

Creativity Overload

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With all that’s going on in the United States and around the world right now, 2020 is certainly the year for serious thought and reflection. At least, it has been for me. With the pandemic keeping me mostly at home, I’ve had loads of extra time to reflect and think. And boy, am I a thinker! My mind is always going a million miles a minute. My brain loves to absorb whatever is around me, and deep within this hard head of mine, the gears are always grinding as I process whatever I take in. Sometimes, a seemingly insignificant kernel of information will lodge itself into those gears, and it’ll be rattling in there for weeks or even months, until suddenly it spawns something brand new and unexpected.

Years ago, I realized that this is both a blessing and a curse. As a writer, having an overactive, inquisitive mind is extremely useful. My brain spends so much time mulling things over in my head that I have an easy time looking at life from many different perspectives. I often can look at mundane, ordinary objects and, in no time at all, see marvelous and exciting things in their place. My imagination can take something that most people would barely glance at and transform it into an awesome plot idea for a new novel. Being able to thoroughly analyze topics and different points of views additionally helps me create diverse and well-rounded characters for my stories.

Despite all of these advantages, though, having a mind that has a mind of its own can cause a ton of problems, too. There are times when I wish with all my might that this wacky brain of mine had an off switch. When I need to concentrate on an important task, there are times when I’m distracted by the craziest of rabbit holes. Oh, and sleep? Something that should come naturally and easy? Yeah, with a brain that is more cluttered and noisy than a virus-infected computer with an endless supply of pop-up ads, sleep is a constant battle. My body may always be eager for some shuteye, but my imagination is worse than a kid in a candy store.

And being cooped up in the house most days since March has fed my imagination with enough candy that it may never allow me to sleep again. I’ve started more projects than I could count in 2020. I’m constantly hopping from one project to the next and back again, too. My creativity is through the roof, and I’m often attempting far more than any sane person ever would. (That is actually why I’m a couple weeks late with this blog post. I got distracted by another project and got lost along the way. I completely forgot that I ran out of scheduled blog posts, and inadvertently neglected my blog.)

Who knows how long this pandemic will last. I pray constantly that it will pass soon and life can settle into a new calm. In the meantime, though, I must learn to rein in my brain and not allow it to run me ragged. These are troubled times, so I am immensely grateful that such negativity is spawning something positive within me. However, you CAN have too much of a good thing. I need to learn to pace myself as I run this course of creativity. I don’t want to burn out prematurely. I desire to finish off strong and make the most of this extra inspiration before it’s gone.

© 2020 Amanda R. Dollak

Four New Writing Goals

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Besides the A to Z Challenge last month, I haven’t had much success lately with writing. I always have the best of intentions. I write down ideas. I start articles and blog posts. I add on paragraphs and even chapters to my stories. I schedule blocks of time for me to focus only on writing. However, I simply haven’t been able to stay focused enough to reach my goals for the last few years.

Part of it is because life has been extremely hectic for me for quite some time. God has been using a lot of this chaos to help transform me, which is messy business. Being molded and chiseled into something new is quite time consuming, too. However, my biggest obstacle, at least this year so far, is I’ve been dealing with a monster of a fibromyalgia flare. Anyone with a chronic illness, particularly one that involves pain and/or fatigue, knows how difficult everyday things can get when medical conditions decide to flare up. Lately, I get so tired that I see double or my eyes wander. It takes a ton of energy to stay focused–energy that I don’t already have. Plus, my muscles and head have been hurting like crazy, so it is even more difficult for me to focus–let alone make any sense.

Despite my best efforts, this fibro flare doesn’t seem willing to give up. It’s become a constant nuisance and refuses to cut me any slack. It’s probably because of stress and overworking myself. My daily schedule has changed completely many times since the coronavirus became an issue. Self-quarantining has put a ton of strain on myself and my family. We’ve had to learn to quickly adapt and roll with the punches of this new, unpredictable world. Between the changes going on in my personal life and all the uncertainty of these trying times, my body is still learning to cope.

However, I’ve decided to trust God and make the most of a trying situation. Instead of whining over this mega flare or throwing myself the biggest pity party of the century, I’m going to focus on what I CAN change: my writing habits. The A to Z Challenge helped me to remember who I am as a writer. It also reminded me just how awesome writing on a daily basis feels. I feel alive for the first time in years! My body might be weak and insist it is falling apart.

Nonetheless, my spirit is strong. I’m eager to turn over a new leaf as a writer. I can feel the excitement, hope, and purpose only frequent writing brings to my life. I was crazy for ever giving up on my writing goals and dreams (even if it was only for a season). It’s time for me to pick those dreams back up, dust them off, and set some new goals. I can’t wait to see what the Lord has in store for me this time around, especially now that I’m more focused and sure of who God designed me to be than ever before. So, here are my goals until my fibro flare takes a hike:

(1) I WILL simply write. No more worrying that I’m actually making sense. No more nitpicking over every little mistake. No more waiting for the “perfect” moment when I’m not too achy or not too tired. No more worrying that my fibromyalgia may make me stink as a writer. I’m going to just sit behind my computer and write wherever inspiration takes me.

(2) I WILL write and only edit later. I am terrible at following this rule. When I write now I create a paragraph (or sometimes even a sentence or two) and then stop so I can read it and edit it. Then I continue on to write the next paragraph (or sentence) and repeat…and so on. It can get far too messy and excessively long. I learned so long ago about the importance of letting your words flow freely, saving the editing until after you are actually finished. But I’ve gotten a little too obsessed with perfection, so the tiniest errors can easily trip me up or bog me down. It’s time to get back into my old habit of running free with my thoughts and then only shaping and pruning the whole rough draft.

(3) I WILL not fear failure. When I am in a flare it isn’t hard to feel weak, vulnerable, and discouraged. There’s nothing like a debilitating medical condition to remind you of your mortality and of your shortcomings. Plus, you have plenty of time to reflect on all your past failures and mistakes if you aren’t careful. My insecurities as a writer surface as well. I find myself hesitating to put my fingers on my keyboard or finishing a project because I worry it will be worthless. Well, no more! I was born to be a writer. The urge to write resounds with every beat of my heart. There is no point in denying who I am or what makes me happy. The only way I could fail is to ignore my calling and refuse to write because I’m too afraid.

(4) I WILL write every day. I have been neglecting my blogs and all my other projects for far too long. It is time to begin fresh. Even if it is only for a half an hour to an hour a day, I promise myself that I will write each day and begin striving regularly to reach all my writing goals and dreams again. I want to knock all the rust off, so writing comes easily and naturally again. I long to reach small goals and keep building from there, so finishing and publishing my first book can become a reality (and soon!). I CAN do this! I only need to take it one step at a time and become consistent again. The rest will fall back in place.

 

© 2020 Amanda R. Dollak

The Unwritten Stories

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One of my favorite childhood author’s, Beverly Cleary said, “If you don’t see the book you want on the shelves, write it.” Many of her books, including The Mouse and the Motorcycle, helped feed my love of books and my interest in writing. However, this quote has had an even more pronounced effect on my identity as a writer. On many occasions, it has served as an important reminder of the untold tales and unwritten stories inside of us all.

We’re all unique individuals. A large group of writers could all sit down with a blank sheet of paper and use the same writing prompt. Yet, none of them would write the same words. It’s extremely unlikely that even two paragraphs would be similar. Each of us has our own individual backgrounds, ideas, thought processes, writing styles, and perspectives. We could find some similarities here and there. We might have had similar experiences or education. We might even share common beliefs or interests. But ultimately, what we create is the direct product of who we are and the vastly different lives we have led.

The older I get, the more I realize that our time on this earth is extremely short. It seems like as each year passes, the next flies by even faster. I’m still trying to figure out how it got to the year 2020 already. It seems like we were just panicking about Y2K yesterday. Where did the last 20 years go? Twenty years, folks! It’s unnerving sometimes when I reflect on how quickly those two decades passed. It truly felt like a mere blink of an eye.

That’s why I am doing everything I can to seize each day and make the most every moment. The reality is we aren’t guaranteed even tomorrow. We must never take each day for granted. If we put off our goals and dreams for too long, we may never have a chance to reach them. We may leave this world without ever living up to our full potential. That’s an extremely sad realization.

We must instead battle the fear, doubt, procrastination, and excessive busyness which keeps distracting us from what really matters. If you have a story inside you, now is the time to let it out. Don’t pass from this world without first letting your voice be heard. Be a blessing to others using your God-given gifts. Help others who are currently battling hardships you have overcome. Share your unique perspective to help others to understand. Be a light to others in the darkness. Only then we can leave this world behind knowing our lives were not wasted.

Do you have any personal writing projects you’ve been putting off? What is the biggest obstacle keeping you from working on them? What can you do today to make your writing a priority?

 

© 2020 Amanda R. Dollak

February Writing Goals: So Far So Good

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On Monday, February 10th, I did pretty well with my new February writing goals. I’m nowhere near where I want to be, but it is a good start.

(1) I created three Bubblews posts for Monday. I am trying to get up to 10 posts per day, but at least 3 is bigger than my average lately. I’ve been averaging a big fat 0 posts lately, with an occasional 1 post a day. I’m slowly moving up!

(2) I wrote a blog post today. I have four blogs that I’m aiming to post on daily. I still have a long way to go, but it feels great to be reentering the blogging world after too long of a vacation.

(3) I created outlines for 4 new articles/posts. I’m not sure yet where I will be submitting these pieces, but I’m happy to see 4 ideas out of my head and on paper, slowly taking shape.

(4) I finished my usual activity on several reward sites. I know this isn’t exactly writing, but I use sites like Swagbucks, InstaGC, InboxDollars, Bing Rewards, and Chatabout to supplement my writing income. Some of these sites also reward me for the normal searches I do every day researching my writing, so they are technically an added bonus to writing.

It doesn’t seem like much, but after you factor in motherhood, cyber schooling my son, cooking, cleaning, and all the other joys of motherhood, I’m satisfied with how productive I made this Monday. Now let’s see if I can kick it up a little more and rock Tuesday!

How was your Monday? What did you accomplish?

 

© 2014 Amanda R. Dollak