Posts Tagged ‘pessimism’

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Winding Road

It is funny how we can convince ourselves that something isn’t worth it over a tiny setback. It’s as though a small part of us is just waiting for any excuse to shut things down and throw in the towel. The sad thing is if we listen to this obnoxious, good-for-nothing voice cowering in the back of our mind, we will get absolutely nowhere in life. Life is all about turmoil, struggles, hurdles, challenges, and obstacles. If we gave up at the first sign of trouble, we’d be finished the moment we first started–leaving us wallowing in self-pity, fear, and regret for the rest of our days.

I, for one, abhor that whiny little coward. But time and time again, when panic sets in his voice is the loudest in my head. He’s a slimy, detestable toad–always intent on sabotaging me to prove that he is right. So, I’m incredibly happy when I smash his ugly head into the ground and prove once again that all he spouts is lies.

Today, I beat him that sniveling pest again! March has not been my month. I’ve been sick with one illness or another the majority of this month, most likely a product of this insane winter and early spring we’ve been experiencing. My latest illness, a head cold, has mostly left, but still lingers as a buzzing in my head. It’s slowly getting better, but every tiny sound seems to resonate in my head, making it impossible to think straight.

Sick or not, though, life must go on, so I’ve been trying to soldier along and doing the best I can. However, with your head constantly buzzing, writing becomes a difficult chore, and at times, it’s challenging to even know what you are trying to say. Turns out I wasn’t the only one having issues understanding my garbled writing. Today, I had an article sent back for a rewrite. I was frustrated and discouraged because this was my first editor decline, and let’s just say I didn’t take the news so well.

Yes, that annoying jabber-jaw started spouting all kinds of nonsense and trying to convince me it was the end of the world. Well, after finally hearing enough of his insanity, I brushed myself off and calmly looked over my editor’s constructive criticism. Then, I reread my article, cringed, and started from scratch. It was perhaps THE worst article I have ever put together. Truthfully, it wasn’t a nightmare, but I strive to always write the best I can. Obviously, my head cold had fried some connections in my brain, and it was time to start over fresh with the edit.

I set my inner moron in his place, reminding myself that we are all human and make mistakes. It’s what we do with those mistakes that make or break us. I jumped right back into the writing saddle, rewrote that assignment, and it was published a couple hours later.

I know I’m not the most talented writer, but I’m still learning and evolving. I realize I’m going to have plenty of bumps in the road and I might even make a few wrong turns now and then. However, that certainly doesn’t make me a bad writer or take away from the talents I do have. All the mistakes and problems will only make me stronger if I distance myself from that whiny, skeptical voice and learn from whatever crosses my path.

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