Attention, Brain: It Is Time to Sleep

Posted: November 14, 2013 in Life, Writing
Tags: , , , , , , , ,

Tigger Sleeping Under Blanket

Lately, I am starting to wonder if my brain didn’t get the memo.  I no longer can stay up to 2, 3 or 4 am because I’m supposed to be awake by 6:30 in the morning now.  My little princess gets on the bus very early this year, so I had absolutely no choice in changing my schedule so drastically.  We’ve been using this schedule since the middle of August, so c’mon, brain, can’t we adjust here?

After another late, late night again, I’m starting to think maybe it is a hopeless task.  My creative mind is most active at night.  And my energy levels are higher towards my new bedtime (10:30).  I end up feeling like a squirrel on Red Bull when I try to force myself to fall asleep so early–still!

I get ants in my pants.  I can’t seem to stop fidgeting.  My mind gets bombarded with a billion creative ideas and many more random thoughts.  My brain starts spouting poetry.  Words start stringing into sentences in my head.  Story scenes begin to appear as my imagination takes over.  I end up feeling like I have an entire mob yelling, screaming, and vying for my attention within my skull.  Not very conducive to peaceful sleep, is it?

It is certainly a futile battle.  I’m never going to win.  My muse is just far too powerful for little ol’ me.  Of course, I’m going to do everything in my power to turn out the lights by 10:30 every night.  But if the racket gets too, there’s no point in fussing, complaining, and fighting the situation.  It would be fruitless and insane to do!  There was a time–not too long ago–when I was so blocked up with raw emotion from hardships in life that I couldn’t even write a whole sentence. I honestly feared I would never write again.  I thought whatever I had was broken, destroyed by too much pain and grief.  So, even now when I’m running on fumes and running into walls in utter exhaustion, I still keep in mind it could be worse.  I could be up late night after night unable to write, afraid that I might permanently lose an vital part of myself forever.

 

© Amanda R. Dollak 2013
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